For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

For Queer Ladies, What Matters as Losing Your Virginity?

Once I connected with some body, we snuck away from sleep and to the darkness of my balcony, alone. a wreck that is nervous we texted my pal, practically hyperventilating due to one thing I’d never likely to be worried about after all.

Longing for a response, we texted: Am we nevertheless a virgin if I experienced intercourse with a woman?

My buddy asked the things I thought, but i must say i didn’t understand. The woman I’d slept with defined intercourse as penetration, therefore by her meaning, we hadn’t had intercourse. She, because the older, long-time queer into the hookup, had the top hand. I did son’t think it had been as much as me personally. In the end, just just what did i understand in regards to the guidelines of girl-on-girl intercourse, not to mention what matters as losing your virginity? Can it be intercourse only if half of this people involved thought it absolutely was?

In my opinion, it felt want it needed to be sex, because or even intercourse, that which was it?

It absolutely was a panic We never anticipated to feel. I became super open-minded. I became super feminist. I will have already been beyond delighted and empowered because of the proven fact that I’d had a confident encounter that is sexual. But rather of cuddling your ex I happened to be resting with and basking in our glow that is post-sex also vocalizing my worry over whether or not we’d just had sex, I happened to be panicking in solitude.

My identification happens to be a biracial that is blur—i’m bisexual, and queer—and it’s something that makes me feel murky, not sure of who i will be. Virginity ended up being simply the latest thing to freak down about. We endured at night alone and tried to determine, again, how exactly to determine myself.

I needed, desperately, to understand in the event that intercourse I happened to be having “counted.” And I’m maybe maybe not the only person. More →