Should We Let Our Bisexual Daughter Have Sleepovers?

Should We Let Our Bisexual Daughter Have Sleepovers?

Welcome to “Survivor, ” by which writer Catherine Newman attempts to reply to your questions regarding adolescents and exactly why they’re like this — and just how to love them despite every thing.

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Our 16-year-old child arrived on the scene as bi. We’re totally supportive of this, but are not sure the way to handle sleepovers. Do we continue steadily to enable them with girls yet not men because that appears appropriate though it makes no rational feeling? Expand the guidelines to add men, because what difference does it make? Ban them entirely and win the Meanest Parents award? Assist!

— Experiencing Sleepovers

“Totally supportive” is such an attractive starting point, Struggling. Then you’ve all got it made in the shade, whatever pajama-party rules you end up deciding on if you cherish your daughter and respect her sexuality and she trusts you and your intentions.

And I also don’t understand that rules will be the real path to take right here. Demonstrably, you don’t wish to secure your daughter up in a tower like some chaste, bi Rapunzel awaiting her prince or princess to rise up her long braid or grab onto her buzz cut and rescue her. And truly, you don’t wish to discipline her for being released as bisexual by constraining her life that is social as outcome. Therefore are you able to keep in touch with her entirely transparently about sleepovers and exactly what your concerns are? Or even to reframe the relevant concern: Do you realize exactly what your issues are?

For instance, will you be concerned that your particular child won’t find a way to share with the essential difference between relationship feelings and intimate emotions? More →